Jesus ChristFollow
#thoughtswhilehigh There's no fucking way Bobby Brown knows what 'prerogative' means, right?
Jesus ChristFollow
Advice: To first time fathers, put two fingers in there and tell the doctor to stitch around them. #jesusafterdark
Jesus ChristFollow
#complimentgonebad Wow, your vagina smells like strawberry...fertilizer.
Jesus ChristFollow
Advice: try not to think about where your woman learned all her kinky bedroom tricks. It will only make you sad.
Jesus ChristFollow
Haven't heard from bootleg Hellboy @BLSATAN lately. Probably got his penis caught in a jacuzzi jet.
Jesus ChristFollow
#failedpickupline I wanna turn your vagina into a Hot Pocket: super hot with a lot of weird meat inside it. #jesusafterdark
Jesus ChristFollow
Just watched Precious. Damn, I thought MY dad was fucked up. Sheesh.
Jesus ChristFollow
Pics or GTFO RT @Mleonard0128 @Jesus_M_Christ: Fake titties are kind of a slap in the face, ladies. #justsayin > but they are so pretty!!!!!
Jesus ChristFollow
Fake titties are kind of a slap in the face, ladies. #justsayin
Jesus ChristFollow
Don't feel bad if you spend more time reading your @ replies than your twitter feed because #idoit2 #jesuslikesinstantgratification
Jesus ChristFollow
Joseph: #wtfyoumean you're pregnant with a 'miracle' baby, Mary?!
Jesus ChristFollow
#wtfyoumean you're following @DalaiLama? Didn't you get the memo about 'no false idols?'
Jesus ChristFollow
To do list for tomorrow: 1. Write checks 2. Snap necks.
Jesus ChristFollow
Jesus 3:16 - when a girl approaches thy Lord with an itty bitty waist & a round thing in thy face, thou Lord gets sprung.
Jesus ChristFollow
#jesusis getting pretty fuckin' pissed about all these #godis tweets. #justsayin
Jesus ChristFollow
I'd turn on the 'tweet your location' function if it wouldn't break the internet. Sorry.
Jesus ChristFollow
#godis just as confused by this season of Lost as you are.
Jesus ChristFollow
A: 8 Lasik surgeries in the last 3 months. Q: How do you know when you've been masturbating too much?
Jesus ChristFollow
#godis ....where to start? An asshole? An incredible Spades partner? A HUGE Corey Haim fan?
Dead Celebrities
- Abraham Lincoln
- Alan Turing
- Albert Einstein
- Anais Nin
- Andy Warhol
- Anne Boleyn
- Anne Frank Bristol
- Arthur Rimbaud
- Audrey Hepburn
- Ava Gardner
- Barry M. Goldwater
- Benjamin Franklin
- Blanche DuBois
- Buckminster Fuller
- Carl Jung
- Charles Darwin
- Charles Dickens
- Chester Arthur
- Cleopatra
- Confucius
- Dante Alighieri
- Dom Perignon
- Edgar Allan Poe
- Edna St. Vincent Millay
- Edward R. Murrow
- Elvis Presley
- Emily Dickinson
- Ernest Hemingway
- Eva Brawn
- Frank Lloyd Wright
- Frank O'Hara
- Frank Sinatra
- Franklin Pierce
- Gaius Julius Caesar
- Gandhi
- Genny Spencer
- George Washington
- Gypsy Rose Lee
- Henry David Thoreau
- Henry Miller
- Ian Curtis
- J.W. Von Goethe
- Jack Kerouac
- Jacques Derrida
- Jalal Ad-Din Rumi
- James Dean
- Jane Austen
- Janis Joplin
- Jean Baudrillard
- Jesus Christ
- John Cheever
- John Donne
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- Judy Garland
- Julia Child
- Kurt Cobain
- Laura Ingalls Wilder
- Lenny Bruce
- Little Edie
- Marcus Aurelius
- Marshall McLuhan
- Martin Heidegger
- Mary Shelley
- Michael Jackson
- Miss Mae West
- Napoleon Bonaparte
- Notorious B.I.G.
- Oscar Wilde
- Pablo Neruda
- Paul Lynde
- Paul Varjak
- Percival Lowell
- Rabbi MM Schneerson
- Robert Frost
- Sammy Davis, Jr.
- Samuel Johnson
- Sei Shonagon
- Sigmund Freud
- Socrates
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- Telegrams Lost
- Tiny Buddha
- Walt Disney
- Walt Whitman
- WH Auden
- William B. Yeats
- William Blake
- William S. Burroughs
- William Shakespeare
- Yamamoto Tsunetomo
- 100 Year-Old Tweets
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