Jesus ChristFollow
#RTthisif the way Kathie Lee needs Regis is the way you need Jesus.
Jesus ChristFollow
In a lot of ways, I'm just like you guys. Example: I HAVE to smell my hand after every time I scratch my nuts.
Jesus ChristFollow
I've been Twitter fasting. That's right, I managed to go 36 hours without seeing the words "Justin Bieber" and LIVED!
Jesus ChristFollow
"GQ95z6ywcBY?" WTF? Is everyone retweeting Stevie Wonder or something?
Jesus ChristFollow
Is thy Lord down with O.P.P.? Yeah, thou knowest me. #jesusafterdark
Jesus ChristFollow
First one to record for me "I fought the Lord and the Lord won" in the persona of @BLSatan gets a #FF. SO JESUS PROMISETH.
Jesus ChristFollow
@notPrecious You mean stick my dick through the holes in my palms? I ain't trying to fit saucers in my hands, man.
Jesus ChristFollow
Best part about having holes in my palms? Great place for emergency toll booth quarters.
Jesus ChristFollow
I have but one role model. http://avacalouca.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/momento-sem-nocao.jpg
Jesus ChristFollow
Want to know what Genghis Khan is up to nowadays? Hint: his business card reads 'Tyrannosaurus playtoy'.
Jesus ChristFollow
We need to take off the 'other' option on our room service menu. Michael Jackson keeps ordering the '3-year-old Michelle Tanner'.
Jesus ChristFollow
Hey Serena Williams, if you really want some fuzzy balls to play with...holla atcha boy. #jesusafterdark
Jesus ChristFollow
Thou shalt not commit adultery....unless your old lady looks like Dog the Bounty Hunter.
Jesus ChristFollow
Thou can find the Lord in the club. Thou Lord is into having sex. Thou Lord is NOT into making love. #jesusafterdark
Jesus ChristFollow
#Ahater will snitch you out for 30 pieces of silver. Am I doing this right?
Jesus ChristFollow
I just owned Michael Jackson's ass on Dance Dance Revolution. Told him this ain't Macauley Culkin you fuckin' with, homey.
Jesus ChristFollow
I like giving athletes nicknames. Ben Roethlisberger = The Cat Burglar. #jesusafterdark
Jesus ChristFollow
There's some things that just shouldn't be seen like how sausage is made or a woman's period drawls. #jesusafterdark
Jesus ChristFollow
Yo Chuck Norris, if you're going to bite my style go all the way & abstain from vagina for 33 years then get crucified.
Dead Celebrities
- Abraham Lincoln
- Alan Turing
- Albert Einstein
- Anais Nin
- Andy Warhol
- Anne Boleyn
- Anne Frank Bristol
- Arthur Rimbaud
- Audrey Hepburn
- Ava Gardner
- Barry M. Goldwater
- Benjamin Franklin
- Blanche DuBois
- Buckminster Fuller
- Carl Jung
- Charles Darwin
- Charles Dickens
- Chester Arthur
- Cleopatra
- Confucius
- Dante Alighieri
- Dom Perignon
- Edgar Allan Poe
- Edna St. Vincent Millay
- Edward R. Murrow
- Elvis Presley
- Emily Dickinson
- Ernest Hemingway
- Eva Brawn
- Frank Lloyd Wright
- Frank O'Hara
- Frank Sinatra
- Franklin Pierce
- Gaius Julius Caesar
- Gandhi
- Genny Spencer
- George Washington
- Gypsy Rose Lee
- Henry David Thoreau
- Henry Miller
- Ian Curtis
- J.W. Von Goethe
- Jack Kerouac
- Jacques Derrida
- Jalal Ad-Din Rumi
- James Dean
- Jane Austen
- Janis Joplin
- Jean Baudrillard
- Jesus Christ
- John Cheever
- John Donne
- John Tyler
- Judy Garland
- Julia Child
- Kurt Cobain
- Laura Ingalls Wilder
- Lenny Bruce
- Little Edie
- Marcus Aurelius
- Marshall McLuhan
- Martin Heidegger
- Mary Shelley
- Michael Jackson
- Miss Mae West
- Napoleon Bonaparte
- Notorious B.I.G.
- Oscar Wilde
- Pablo Neruda
- Paul Lynde
- Paul Varjak
- Percival Lowell
- Rabbi MM Schneerson
- Robert Frost
- Sammy Davis, Jr.
- Samuel Johnson
- Sei Shonagon
- Sigmund Freud
- Socrates
- Sylvia Plath
- Telegrams Lost
- Tiny Buddha
- Walt Disney
- Walt Whitman
- WH Auden
- William B. Yeats
- William Blake
- William S. Burroughs
- William Shakespeare
- Yamamoto Tsunetomo
- 100 Year-Old Tweets
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